Match Point

Beatrice started tennis yesterday. She has embraced the whole look, circa 1970.

Fall Firsts

Had lots of firsts last week.

Beatrice's first day of Pre-K (4-5 yr old classroom)
Bea is attending the same school she went to last year so the 'first day jitters' were non-existant. Her teacher is awesome. The kind of gal that's been doing this thang for about 20 years and is no-nonsense with the kids.

First lost tooth:  I think I was more worked up about this ordeal than my girl. Bea is typically the analytical, worry-wart kind of kid. This whole tooth thing was a breeze. She never ceases to amaze me. Or give me anxiety-induced diarrhea. The things I think are gonna be huge deals blow over like nothing, then the things I'm not prepared for become freakin' Mt. Vesuvius. It's the unpredictability of it all that makes parenting such a bitch. 

First Day of Sunday Football:  Celebrated in tandem with our very own, Dinky's, 33 birthday. Lobstahs all around.  I had about 3 bites because my kids are lobster freaks. (I know, First World Problems...)Beatrice and I also celebrated this holiday by taking a trip to the Mall. We hit up Lululemon, then the American Girl Doll store. Doesn't get more White-Suburbanite than that. The only thing that would have made it more stereotypical would have been pizza and salads at California Pizza Kitchen. Or PF Chang's if we were feeling 'ethnic.'

I realize that my poor lil Theo is missing from this post. Shout out to my boy.

He's Beatrice's real life doll (a la Richard Pryor's The Toy.)

Zoolander

Let Them Eat Chocolate!

Every so often, Beatrice will chime in from the back seat when she hears something notable on the radio. I usually am listening to NPR so its always interesting to share conversations with her based on what's she heard. Last night we listened to a story about a new study finding that people who eat chocolate several times a week are actually leaner than people who don't eat chocolate regularly.

Beatrice's ears perked up when they introduced the lead researcher, Beatrice Golomb. My little Beatrice was quite pleased to hear her name on the airwaves. After the piece was over and I was taking her out of the car, she piped up "That lady said chocolate is helfy (healthy)." A couple of Beatrice's couldn't be wrong, right?

Theo Is a PiT (Princess-in-Training)

Michael Jackson's PYT is playing through my head after typing P-i-T.



Beatrice's coaching in this video is stellar. She has pageant mom written all over her.

This video reminds me of the time my sister and I got in trouble for dressing up my little brother as a girl, full on lipstick and high heels. He loved it.

Happy 4th Birthday, Beatrice Isabel

My lovely Beatrice,
I am sorry this post is a couple of days late. You turned four last Friday but mama was up to her eyeballs in a pink princess world getting everything ready for your birthday parties. We also took a special trip to Disney Princesses on Ice and boy were you excited. Daddy and I had so much fun watching you watch the magic unfold. And your auntie and cousin Julian surprised us with a special visit from VA. You are one lucky birthday girl!
These last four years have been so special. I never could have imagined what having a baby girl would do to my life and your father's. Yesterday while I was rushing around to put stuff away before leaving for dinner at Nanny's, you grabbed me around my waist and said "Mama, thanks for making my birthday come true. I love you." It's moments like those that take my breath away.
My precious girl, thank you for choosing me to be your mama. I love you to the moon and back.

Cousin Lovin'

These kids are too damn funny. Every time I pulled out the camera they would pose like a prom couple, one standing behind the other holding his/her waist.

4th Birthday - JetBlue Style

While we were in Virginia this past week, my sister threw an early birthday party for Beatrice since she won't be with us on Beatrice's actual birthday. She gave Beatrice a Birthday Princess crown that she wore the duration of the trip. On our way back home, while boarding the airplane the flight attendant noticed her crown and informed us that Birthday Princesses get to sit in the cockpit. The pilot jumped out of his seat and ushered her into the pilot's seat. So much for TSA security in our nation's capital!




Then while we walked down the aisle towards our seats the flight attendant announced "I'd like us all to wish Beatrice a happy 4th birthday." People were high-fiving her and clapping. She was loving it.

A Rose By Any Other Name

A friend sent me a link to this news last week. That Bryce Dallas Howard (daughter of Opie/Richie Cunningham) has great taste in names! Too bad I can't say the same for her parents.

Just Another Day For You & Me in Paradise

Sometimes when you're just trying to keep from screaming, its best to just grab the iPhone to shoot a video of the complete shit show your house has become. This here is dinner time at the Chase casa. Theo is melting down because Cory's taken away his dinner after the nine hundredth warning to NOT THROW YOUR FOOD. We are going to have our hands full with this little bastard. He has no fear of authority. Just like the father. But really my favorite part of this video is Beatrice yelling in the background "I NEED A HOT DOG" and then the end when Theo, still crying does his best to say "Cheese." Aw, welcome to my world.




P.S. Try getting that Phil Collins song out of your head (see blog title.) Sorry, sucka.

No Tea for You

Little Miss was not a happy camper after I whooped her at the Fancy Nancy Tea Party game.
This fit lasted for a full 20 minutes. To date she has refused a re-match. Cory says I need to lay off the taunting next time.

Neither Here Nor There

This is a random smattering of what's going on in my head right now. In true lazy blogger form, I present to you my bulleted list.

• Why oh why does Kyle Richards of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills think its OK to wear those god damn hair clips with her hair half up? (After scouring the Internet for 20 minutes I have given up my search for a photo if her with this heinous look.) You all know the hair clip of which I speak... the one you throw in your hair as you run out the door to do errands or you use to to keep your hair out of your face while you brush your teeth. I'll even allow you the smaller version but c'mon girl, lose the big ass clip.

• There are some CrossFit exercises that scare the shit out of me, such as the Rope Climb and Handstand Push Up. I can't even imagine my body being able to do those things. I am genetically predisposed to squatting and lifting heavy things. My people were a working in fields not climbing trees and shit. I can bang out a mean weighted squat but this getting my body off the ground....not so much. Once I get through the Foundations course, I am going to set some realistic CrossFit goals.


• Eating clean (er) has been going OK. I totally had full body reactions to cutting out the sugar and carbs (lethargy, headaches, irritability... similar to the DTs.) The carbs I can handle. I am not a big at-home pasta and bread eater but the sugar, I like me some sugar. I cheated on Saturday night with wine and pizza, chips, and cookies and I felt like shit the next day. I know that I will never be so strict that I keep to this way of life 100%. I am just hoping to learn how to treat special occasions as such and not think I deserve a food treat on a random Tuesday night. Or better yet not treat food like a treat but find other 'rewards' instead. I like the saying "Don't treat yourself with food. You are not a dog."


• Beatrice has been going to bed without a Pull-Up for the last 3 nights. I know we waited way long on this. She's been potty trained for over a year and a half but every morning she would wake up with a drenched Pull-Up. Recently she decided that she was a big girl and would no longer rock the Pull-Ups. I was hesitant to support this idea because of my hatred for changing beds. I don't know why I hate that task so much but it angers me but so far no sheets have been soiled in this experiment. She wakes up every night around 2 or 3 for a pee break. There is something so adorable about her little feet going pitter patter down the hallway in the we hours of the morning. She grins ear to ear when she comes into our room chanting, "Dry undies" (and she does this while grabbing her crotch in such a charming way.) She is so dang proud of herself (as am I). I heard her playing with Theo yesterday and he made one of his 3 man grunt noises "Ma" which she construed as him calling her "Mama." She replied "OK, Theo, you can call me Mama. I wear underpants to bed now." I wish I knew 4 years ago that all it took to earn Mama status was toss on a pair of knickers.


• We started watching the first season of Downton Abbey last night. Actually Cory fell asleep about 20 minutes into it but I hung in there. It's not going to be for everyone but I'm enjoying it thus far. Gawker has been doing pieces about it for a while if you want a primer. And I will have you know that every time I read a writeup of the show, I thought to myself, "I need to check out this Downtown Abbey show everyone is talking about." Yup, been reading it as DOWNTOWN for months. I'd like to tell you that I noticed my mistake as the opening credits were rolling but I'd be lying. It wasn't until the third or fourth time a character said the word, Dowton, that I caught on. Maybe that is a sign that I'm too dumb to watch PBS.

Currently Reading

As a child, I loved the Ramona books and loved the show on PBS. (After all I did name my daughter Beatrice. I told Cory its in honor of his grandmother but we all know its a shout out to Ramona's Aunt Beatrice and sister, Beezus. Beverly Cleary knew what was up, unlike today's authors.) I remember early Saturday mornings glued to our little TV (manual dial changer, bunny ears, and no remote! the horror!) Earlier this year my niece gave Beatrice all of her old books. You can imagine my joy when I spotted a couple of Ramona books in the pile. Last month Beatrice pulled this gem from the bottom of the box and we began our journey through Ramona Forever. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to read a book that isn't about princesses or pinkness. Ramona is one feisty little bitch.

When we started the book, I wondered if Beatrice was ready for it. She was so eager to dive in so I figured we'd give it a shot. If you come over, she'll brag to you "me and mama read chapter books!"

After every couple of pages, I'll ask her about the characters, the plot, what she think will happen next, etc. Some nights she recounts all of the details like Encyclopedia Brown (another childhood favorite- did you ever watch that film strip?) and other nights she can't piece together the story to save her life. It all depends on how tired she is and how distracted she is playing with my hair (we're in a hairdo phase.)

We are 3/4 through this book and last night we hit upon one of the major climaxes in the plot. (Spoiler alert!) Mrs. Quimby, who has been pregnant since Chapter 2 finally goes into labor. (We're going to find out if the baby is a boy or girl and what his/her name will be!) Beezus and Ramona wait by the phone to get the call from the hospital (they are left home while the parents go to the hospital.-- so 80's. Another reason this book is awesomely 80s is because rich Uncle Hobart has made his fortune working the oil rigs in Saudi Arabia.)

I'm going along, reading with enthusiasm and suspense when (my) Beatrice declares "Mama, I'm ready for bed. We can finish this tomorrow." She was so blase about the whole thing. I put the book down, rushed through the whole tuck in/hugs/kisses/water routine and came back to finish the book. Don't worry, I won't ruin it for you. But damn, that shit was a page-turner.

American Baby

Last week my mother took Beatrice to the American Girl Store. Theo and I tagged along to make sure the brainwashing wasn't a complete success. I wasn't feeling too good about it as we pulled into the parking lot and Beatrice squealed "The American Girl store!" I hadn't told her where we were going so I asked "How do you know where we are?" She retorted "Mama, I can read the star sign." Wow.... that's some shit, girl can't even write her own name or tie her shoes but she knows the doll store.

This trip was planned by my mother as a reconnaissance mission for Christmas. Since this is Bea's first American Girl doll, I suggested we make a beeline for the cheaper Bitty Baby (read Gateway Drug) section. Bea's eyes lit up as my mother pulled one after another off the shelves for her to hold. Then she saw the twins in the next section and flipped the f out. I think at that point my mother would have bought her a set of octuplets.

W then we made our way up to the larger sized dolls (read Heroin) section. I don't think I'll have to worry about the American Girl marketing geniuses converting my little boy. He spent most of our twenty minutes up there hiding and trashing the joint:


On the way out the door my mother caught my eye and motioned to the section of mini-sized dolls, pantomiming buying one for Beatrice right then and there. I gave her a "Are you f'ing crazy look" after we turned it over to see the price tag of $22. It's 6 inches tall. My mother is totally drinking the Kool-Aid.

All Before 6:30 A.M.

I sometimes think Beatrice was born in the wrong region. Her latest thing is that before she comes downstairs for breakfast, she goes into the bathroom to put on her headband. Then she climbs up on her stool to check herself out in the mirror. Here's our little Southern Belle-in-training. How long before she starts putting on her face before breakfast?



So while the first born is busy prettying herself before the sun rises, her brother (pictured behind her dangerously atop the counter) is growling and maniacally searching for a morsel of food. You can't even get the coffee going before you shove a banana appetizer (a.k.a banappetizer) in his mouth while his eggs/pancake/oatmeal cooks.

Nothing like a calm, lazy start to a hectic day.

Halloween 2011

This year's Halloween was a 2-part extravaganza. The Friday night before Halloween we had a wedding to attend. A costumed wedding for the entire family. Cory most definitely represented well with his bandleader uniform. Beatrice and I rocked it out as ballerinas and Theo went as a skunk (of course.)

Then a couple of nights later, the kids donned their costumes again and we hit the pavement. Beatrice liked it a bit better this year and Theo totally got into it.

Here are some pictures.

Breeder's Cup

This is the end of an era. I am off to the hospital now for my procedure. I am feeling good about it, content that I am making the right decision. I am definitely lucky that I don't feel ambivalent about not wanting to bear any more children. My family is complete and we have been blessed with two healthy and happy children.

As Cory took the kids off to Miss Maria's today, I stood in the doorway and watched as they left. My heart swelled with pride knowing that this body grew those babies, gave birth to those babies, and fed those babies. This body has served me well and for that I am grateful.

Thank you Beatrice and Theo for giving me the chance to be your mama. I treasure forever that moment the nurses put each of you on my chest and I breathed in every last bit of you, knowing that you were mine.

Weekend Happenings

I have to post something so that the F word isn't the first blog post title you see when you accidentally make it to my page. (Let's be honest, no one comes here on purpose.) I don't think I've ever used a swear word in my post title before but goddammit book clubs really make me mad. There I go again... I have to stop.

So we had a jam packed weekend. Basically everything we did was kid-related. Don't get me wrong, I love my children but having a weekend filled with only kid-centric things like the PTO Pumpkin Fair, Clifford Visits the Library, and the Halloween Lantern Lighting, is somewhat depressing.

Well, I guess we did sneak in some things I like. We hit a couple of yard sales. I scored these boots for $3.


I'm not scared to wear other people's shoes. And actually it turned out that the lady grew up next to our nanny. I'd heard all about her so I know she's good people (and thus I assume she is hygienic.)

We also went to the SOWA Open Market. While those things were fun, they were experienced with kids in tow. If you have kids, you know that feeling of being somewhere public, having to keep one hand on your child, one on your coffee, all the while making sure he/she doesn't break anything/walk into someone/throw a fit in the middle of the walkway.

So enough complaining. These little buggers do make life more fun (and exhausting.)

Oh I just remembered one more notable event this weekend. Before the Lantern Lighting we went to El Oriental de Cuba, a delicious Cuban Restaurant. I got the Seafood Stew which was fantastic. The next morning I open up the Boston Globe to find this story about local restaurants lying about their seafood offerings. I was definitely chomping away on Charles River Catfish.

Beatrice Isabel's First Day of Preschool

My darling girl,

Today was your first day of preschool. Last night when I was tucking you in, you could barely contain your glee. You told me, "Mama, I am so 'cited to go to school." Your enthusiasm was electric.



This morning you proudly donned your new dress, shoes, and backpack, and hit the road towards 13 years of school days. You were so brave, taking your new teacher's hand and walking towards your new school. You didn't utter a whimper or make that little, barely perceptible 'nervous' face that only your Mama and Daddy can detect a mile away.

When i picked you up this afternoon you told me all about your day. True to form, you first told me that you had Graham crackers and juice for snack (you are your mother's daughter!) You played catch in the gym and there's even a sandbox in your class with real sand!

Its days like this when I am again reminded of how lucky I am to be your mother and how blessed I am to walk with you through these milestones.

Guess Who's Back... Back again...

I have been so bad with the blogging, I know, I know. Maybe when the colder weather comes back my writer's block will subside. Today, I do have some random musings to share.

This morning I dropped Beatrice off at daycare and our beloved childcare provider pulled me aside to ask me something 'personal.' (Those are the most dreaded words any parent wants to hear.) I think she saw the look of terror on my face and quickly assured me "No, well its not personal like that." But I took that with a grain of salt because we have what you would call a relationship with murky boundaries. She, like me, is Portuguese. And with that comes an unspoken code. We've discussed the following topics just in the last week:
1) My weight. Down to the pound. Yup, she asked for numbers.
2) Cultural affections. She has some firm beliefs on which cultures hug and which don't. There are many assumptions you can make about a culture that doesn't hug. So she tells me...
3) Her reproductive organs. All of them. Which ones were removed and when and how.
4) My reproductive organs. Will I need remove them and when and how.

So anyways, she proceeds to tell me that for the past couple of weeks Beatrice has been talking about her grandmother who only has one leg. Now our provider has met both grandmothers and has noted that they both stand atop 2 healthy legs. I immediately bust out laughing because yes, Beatrice does in fact have a grandmother, though she is technically a great-grandmother, with only one leg. Turns out that Beatrice and her gaggle of little girls have been pretending that they only have one leg. They pretend they are in wheelchairs and they take turns being the one with one leg. I need to get that on video. And because I am a sicko I am most definitely going to teach her that trick where you sit with one leg under your butt and the other hanging down so it looks like you really only have one leg. She's going to blow the minds of her little playmates.

In other news, Theo is walking. I have yet to capture it on video or film because he is still kind of sporadic about it, generally preferring to crawl because he can move more quickly that way. He does this fantastic "come to Jesus" thing where he throws his arms up in the air and looks to the heavens while he ambles forward like a drunken sailor.

While I haven't been doing any blog writing lately, I've been doing some blog stalking. You need to be reading this blog now: Mandajuice. Take a look back through the archives. Its a soap opera just without Cruz or Eden. (Ten points for you if you got my Santa Barbara reference.)

Beatrice Wishes America a Happy Birthday

We had a great 4th of July weekend. If I wasn't such a deadbeat I'd have photos to share. There Here some highlights and lowlights.

Let's get the bad out of the way:

Pulling up to the beach and realizing that I'd packed everything but Theo's bathing suit. Oops.

Pulling back the shower curtain, jumping in (sans contacts so I was basically legally blind) to find a garter snake waiting for me. WTF?!? My brave husband removed it and humanely disposed of it in the yard. He used one of these. Why does he have that laying around the house you ask... obviously for garter snake removal.

Some highlights include:

Beatrice discussing what kind of cake "America" will have at her party.

Watching Beatrice play with all her little buddies. She is at the perfect age now to play with her friends without needing constant adult interaction.

Watching Theo crawl along the wet sand, covering himself in the mud-like grit. He loved it.

Dunking Beatrice and Theo under water. They both wanted to do it over and over, in the pool and the ocean. We have some water babies on our hands.

Beer

Ice cream

Hope you all had a good weekend.

Summer should only be made up of sunny long weekends.