Monday, September 13, 2010

Wedding Weekend ReCap

We had a great time at my cousin's wedding this past weekend. It was filled with booze and debauchery. And oh ya, 2 people committing themselves to each other for life. Some highlights (in some cases low lights depending on your level of morality/self respect.)

  • 5 hours in a car with my mother. Never again.
  • Unpacking the car after the draining drive to find that my breast pump never made it. I am not going to point fingers but my mother was in charge of putting my bags in her car. Luckily I had my level headed sister with me who found a Wal-Mart that carried those old fashioned hand pumps. That held me over until Cory arrived the next day.
  • Getting quite inebriated with my entire family after the rehearsal dinner. Like epic drunkenness. Shots of Yaeger and tequila kind of epic. 5 out of 8 family members threw up. Though in my youngest brother's defense his was food related. And the jury is out on my mom and aunt though they wouldn't cop to it even if they did. Perhaps one of us (read, me) may have awoken throwing up in bed. Who does that?!? Not a shocker that I puke as that is pretty much my M.O. but wow, I couldn't even make it to the toilet. This was not the first time a member of my family has defiled a hotel room on the eve of a wedding. But that's another story for another time. My other brother claimed he didn't throw up and then remembered later on that if fact he had thrown up right after breakfast. Total shit show.
  • Losing my contact during said raucous night. Of course I forgot an extra pair of contacts. I bring an extra pair whenever I go away and I've never had to use one. That was my luck this weekend.
  • My brother getting locked out of his room not one, but 2 nights. That inn keeper loved him and his drunken bell ringing at 3 in the morning. One of those nights was because he left his room without his key. He was walking out a grenade he had taken home after the rehearsal dinner. That's his M.O. at family weddings.
  • Going yard saleing on the morning after the rehearsal dinner. My sister and I had drunkenly agreed to go with my cousin. He was in pretty bad shape too so we didn't think he'd call us on it. But oh he did so we were in the car at 9am driving around Camden hitting the sales. The best part was that my aunt's friend heard us talking about it at breakfast and asked to come with us. I sat in the back with George, trying not to breathe on him. After the first sale, I couldn't take it any more so I passed out, most likely mouth agape. I sat out each subsequent stop, instead sleeping and trying to not throw up. Georgie will never look at me the same again.
  • Hearing a smoke alarm as we were leaving our room to go out after the wedding. Then realizing it was coming from my mom's room. We busted in there to a blaring alarm, her hunched over the heater trying to turn it off, and the smell of burnt plastic. Our family was a curse to that hotel.
  • Witnessing a bridesmaid/groomsman drunken courtship. Made me nostalgic for college.
  • Drunken dancing. My signature drunk dance is a modified 'throw your hands up in the air.' There was this one guy who did the 'waiter holding a tray.' He'd toss in some other moves but that was his stand-by. Priceless. However nothing can rival my brother-in-law's fist pump. Pauly D's got nothing on him.
  • Dancing at least 3 times to Lady Gaga's "Alejandro" (that's my brother's name.) He claims he can't stand it but he totally loves it. "Don't call my name, don't call my name..."
  • Finding out at the brunch that the groom (my cousin) lost his wallet the night before at the bar. I don't know how he didn't have to get his stomach pumped.

Overall it was a great time. Lots of laughing and family bonding. We won't have another family wedding for a while so it was nice to go out with a bang. My family definitely gets up to get down.


  1. far one of your best posts because i can't breathe! sounds like you had a great time...god, i love your fam:)

  2. sounds like a blast.

    and you were not the only PC grad tp puke at a wedding this weekend.