Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Up or Down

I am not a devoutly religious person. When I think of heaven or hell, I don't generally picture blue skies and clouds or a fiery inferno. Instead I think of the following.

My Personal Hell:
  • Jersey Shore in July
  • Cardio Boxing Class followed by Zumba
  • Karaoke
  • The Moon (yup, still scared of it-- see left hand nav bar for history)
  • Suffering from dementia
  • Dinner with Sammi Sweetheart, Hitler, any of the chicks from Rock of Love or You're Cut Off, and George Bush.
  • Dusting and vacuuming. Every Saturday growing up, my sister and I would trade off doing the vacuuming or dusting. I hated Saturday mornings for this reason. Before we were even out of bed my mother would start in with "You can't go out until you dust/vacuum. You can't watch TV all morning, you need to dust/vacuum."
  • Burying my husband or kids. I know that's a heavy one but I think about these things.
  • Pumping gas. I hate doing it. Its not a prissy thing, it just takes forever. I get really impatient.
My Personal Heaven
  • A continuous loop of Theo laughing
  • All you can eat blueberry muffins
  • Dinner and a movie with my husband
  • All you can eat Cabot's Chocolate and Peanut Butter Ice cream sundaes
  • Honeymoon Beach and a Red Stripe
  • Cuddling with Beatrice every night before bed ("Mommy, you lay with me sive (five) little minutes.")
  • Dinner with Tosh.0, Mark Wahlberg, Oprah (yup, I said it), and John Lennon. Probably not all at once, I don't know if that crew would mesh.
  • Sleeping until 8am and having someone (preferably my husband) bring me coffee (Starbucks Dark Roast, little bit of milk) before my feet hit the ground.
  • An empty dishwasher
  • Pad Thai from a beach hut in Koh Samui

What does your heaven or hell look like?

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