Up or Down

I am not a devoutly religious person. When I think of heaven or hell, I don't generally picture blue skies and clouds or a fiery inferno. Instead I think of the following.

My Personal Hell:

• Jersey Shore in July
• Cardio Boxing Class followed by Zumba
• Karaoke
• The Moon (yup, still scared of it-- see left hand nav bar for history)
• Suffering from dementia
• Dinner with Sammi Sweetheart, Hitler, any of the chicks from Rock of Love or You're Cut Off, and George Bush.
• Dusting and vacuuming. Every Saturday growing up, my sister and I would trade off doing the vacuuming or dusting. I hated Saturday mornings for this reason. Before we were even out of bed my mother would start in with "You can't go out until you dust/vacuum. You can't watch TV all morning, you need to dust/vacuum."
• Burying my husband or kids. I know that's a heavy one but I think about these things.
• Pumping gas. I hate doing it. Its not a prissy thing, it just takes forever. I get really impatient.

My Personal Heaven

• A continuous loop of Theo laughing
• All you can eat blueberry muffins
• Dinner and a movie with my husband
• All you can eat Cabot's Chocolate and Peanut Butter Ice cream sundaes
• Honeymoon Beach and a Red Stripe
• Cuddling with Beatrice every night before bed ("Mommy, you lay with me sive (five) little minutes.")
• Dinner with Tosh.0, Mark Wahlberg, Oprah (yup, I said it), and John Lennon. Probably not all at once, I don't know if that crew would mesh.
• Sleeping until 8am and having someone (preferably my husband) bring me coffee (Starbucks Dark Roast, little bit of milk) before my feet hit the ground.
• An empty dishwasher
• Pad Thai from a beach hut in Koh Samui

What does your heaven or hell look like?