One afternoon we took a ride to the other side of the island. After a failed attempt to drive to a secluded beach down a jagged dirt road (this involved much screaming on my part about flat tires and being irresponsible parents and Cory telling me to calm down and relax. Jess D.- I told him I would not be going muddin' with my baby girl in the back!), we ended up at this 'bar'. Before we sat down, one of the regulars asked where we were from and as always, we got into the age-old, "Oh, I'm from the Boston area too." This guy was quite a character, real rough around the edges. And I'm not judging a book by its cover, he offered up this gem of a story when I inquired about how he ended up moving to St. John from Braintree, MA. Turns out his odyssey started 14 years ago when he 'pissed bad' while on parole. So he boarded a plane that night. He also shared that he has 4 sons aged 4 to 32. He also sang The Cars, My Best Friend's Girl, about 10 times and told us that was the best concert he'd ever gone to. If I wasn't a married lady...
While at that same roadside spot, another woman overhead that we were from Ashland and that sparked a conversation about one of the local shop keepers being from Ashland. Later that week, we stopped by the store, St. John Spice. Ruth, the owner, was there we got to talking. Turns out she has a house around the corner from us and knows my brother's landlord (my brother is now renting an apartment down the street from us.) She also used to work at our favorite local restaurant/pub. All roads lead back to Trashland.For those of you that have been to St. John or really any island or remote area, you know how insane the driving can be. It's a total free for all and oh ya, they drive on the Left (Left is Right.) We were in town for the construction of and first day of the traffic in their new Rotary. I could have spent all day watching this shit show. Luckily, being MassHoles, we know our way around a rotary (pun intended.)
Beatrice learned a lot of new words on vacation- boat, car, truck, house, towel, fish. Well actually she thinks she's saying fish but it sounds like something else entirely. Take a look at the video. Next time you see her, ask her if she had fish for dinner.By far, the weirdest thing that occurred during our trip had to do with Beatrice. One of the first days of vacation, we were at a bar and I noticed a couple of people looking over at Beatrice and kinda motioning to another couple to look our way. I didn't really think anything of it. Later on, as we were leaving they commented that she looked just like their friend's daughter that lived in St. John. The next day, Cory was walking with Bea and a lady smiled at them and asked him if he was the uncle. Cory gave her a perplexed look and she took a closer look, then apologized as she had mistaken Beatrice for her friend, Jay's baby. So this happens a couple more times. Another evening, we're coming off the ferry from St. John to St. Thomas (we'd gone over for dinner and the poor man's sunset cruise) and I noticed an older gentleman giving us side-long glances. I smile and he comments that Beatrice looks just like his friend's baby. I ask, "Is your friend's name Jay by any chance?" Of course it is. This guy talks our ear off about how Jay is bi-racial and was married to a blond haired German woman and tells us where Jay works. Later that night, as we walk by the place where said Jay works, I ask the bartender if Jay's working. He wasn't working that night but would be in for the breakfast shift in a couple days. I give the bartender the background so he didn't think I was some kind of stalker. He commented, along with the rest of the patrons, that Beatrice looked just like that little girl. A couple of days later we went back to that bar/restaurant but Jay was not there. Then finally before we left, Cory was walking by with Beatrice and upon noticing that they were broadcasting the football games, they promptly stopped. The bartender from the other night motions to Cory to come in- Jay had been in all day with his daughter and had just left. The bartender goes out the back to try and stop them before they leave. Unfortunately he came back empty-handed, they had just driven off on their way to Hawknest Beach. Coincidentally, we had just come back from a full day at Hawksnest. Too funny... maybe we'll run into them next time. I've heard everyone has a bizarro twin in the world. Mine supposedly was at UMass Amherst. One time, years after all my friends spotted her there, a guy on the commuter rail asked me if I graduated from UMass in 2001. He was totally referencing my bizarro twin.
I love the name of this ferry. 
My final tidbit has to do with our major celebrity spotting. On the way home, we traveled all the way from St. Thomas to Boston with this cat. Best part is that he acts totally like his character from KoQ. Beatrice was being all flirty with him and his friend (some guy that was evidently on American Idol- he was pretty generic, white, guitar-playing guy so I didn't even bother looking him up.) Beatrice was also obsessed with that guy's girlfriend, even giving her a couple of stickers. I overhead Gary comparing Beatrice's little coquettish ways to his niece. He showed his friends a video on his iPhone of her being all flirty. OMG, was he comparing my baby girl to his famous brother's baby. This may be my proudest mothering moment.
The rest of the vacation photos are here.
By Monday, I was off the DL and back in action, in the car, ready to go to the beach. Cory turns the key, and nothing. Car battery is dead. If you've not been to St. John, while its totally a fully functioning little island, there are some challenges. Like for instance the crazy hills, houses built into cavernous mountainsides, and steep, steep driveways not conducive for tow trucks. As luck would have it the landscapers came by just at that moment. They didn't have jumper cables, but they did a nifty little thing where they pulled out their battery, pulled out our's, and popped there's in to our car to give us a little juice to get into town. My favorite part was when I asked them if they wanted some water and they replied 'no.' Then I offered beer and got a resounding 'yes' in return. It was 8 in the morning. The smiles on their faces were awesome when we handed them a six-pack of Red Stripe for their troubles (along w/ some cash.)
So Cory got the car into town, and after a couple more issues we finally got a new battery. So we made it to the beach on Tuesday. But first we needed a quick visit to the clinic. Nope, not for Beatrice. For Cory. He had himself a sick case of swimmer's ear. After using everything the pharmacy had to offer for water and wax removal, we hit up the clinic and they got all professional on the ear. Of course this is the year we went to St. John without our resident audiologist. (Bri, we really could have used your audioscope). Beatrice and I waited at the clinic while Cory had his orifices drained. She was good for the first 20 minutes, then started in with an endless litany of 'Daaadddyyy', pointing maniacally at the entrance. An hour later, when Cory finally came through that door, everyone in the reception area cheered in unison "Daaadddyyy."
The best part of the whole clinic experience was that they were in our insurance network. In fact, they were the only doctors in the Virgin Islands that were in our network. It never works out like that.
The views and lookouts are insane. This photo was taken from the Caneel Trail behind our house.
We went to all of our favorite places: 
Speaking of beers, this island has the right idea. You drink all day long, especially while going about your daily business. There really isn't anything better than stopping at a convenience store on your way to the beach at 9am and walking out with a couple of ice cold Red Stripes. You don't really see people drinking soda or waters, but always cold beers. So refreshing. You can drink in the car, on the street, everywhere. Here's Cory on the ferry over to St. John.
We found the library. Its in this old building from the 1700s. Beatrice was in heaven. We were the bonehead parents that only brought 2 books for their nerd-child. We made do with the "What To Do In the Virgin Islands" cheesy tour books that were stacked up at the house. Her favorite pastime before bed was to thumb through the guidebooks, pointing out Mai and Daddy. Sometimes I was flattered, other times, not so much. Daddy was always a big black man.
We saw a lot of wildlife. Cory went on a couple solo snorkeling missions. He saw a turtle (Johnny B, my heart broke for you.) Seeing a turtle is kind of the holy grail for snorkelers in St. John. That and a shark. We saw a sand shark on our last trip. I don't want to brag but I pointed it out while the snorkel leader was pissing around with some coral. 
When we were by the pool one afternoon, Beatrice kept looking under the chair saying something which we couldn't decipher. Finally I looked under the seat and realized she was saying 'cute.' She had found a baby lizard. He was under that seat every day while we swam in the pool. She would get out of the pool and point and say 'cute' over and over. It was cute overload. I threw up in my mouth.
We saw a bunch of roadside donkeys and chickens. Cory made fun of me because I freaked out when he coaxed a donkey over to my car window. Those things bite. They're not just mopey 
Later that day, while she was napping, I busted out the hot glue gun, some cardboard, and put my sister to work.
Many years ago when Mama and Daddy were first dating, I asked Daddy, "What do you think is my best talent?" And without missing a beat, Daddy replied, "Reading." You're too young now to understand that's not really the answer Mama was looking for but little did I know that 10 years later I'd give birth to the best little 'reader' in town.
